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Jane Doe

The world’s sneakiest virus

Steal this gem!

This coronavirus is the strangest virus I’ve ever heard of. It’s very dangerous the way it spreads. It is so mysterious the way it lurks in schools but then dies at Home Depot. It can wreak havoc in churches; praying people are exceptionally vulnerable! Although it’s mind-boggling how it vanishes when people stand close together holding signs, destroying businesses, homes, property, monuments, etc.

Yet, standing to watch a marathon or a concert triggers its wrath. It is sneaky. It can spread when buying clothes but not at Asda. It is non-alcoholic. It can’t spread when you are buying beer. It lives for two days on Amazon boxes, you must wait 48 hours to touch them but It can’t survive on Dunkin’ Donuts coffee cups, so enjoying a hot cup of Joe is safe. It is the most curious thing, how it lives on basketballs, baseball bats and ballet bars, but dies on WWE ropes and Walmart shopping carts. It is spread by hairstylists, dog groomers, and dentists, but not by bank tellers, cashiers, and fast-food workers.

It’s SO smart. It won’t bother the first 10 people but it knows when the 11th person shows up so be careful if that’s you. It even knows what you want vs what you need. If you want a massage or your nails done it is very active on the prowl and not even a mask can stop it, but If you need a plumber, it is weak, and a mask will keep it away. It also seems to be most dangerous after 5:30pm so businesses must start to close before the virus comes out and wreaks havoc upon the populations. Whoever heard of such a sneaky virus?

Copy and Paste. I did.

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